Kwummy September 10th, 2007
I stole this from the boards because it’s just so outrageous. I’m surprised Fark hasn’t gotten a hold of it, yet.
This hot country star:
is accused of having 11 affairs. Here’s her rumored scorecard:
I want to know if the encounter with 3 Doors Down was just a big orgy or if she tapped them all individually. Either way, country music just got interesting.
Kwummy September 6th, 2007
I just got my annual review at my job today. I knew what to expect going into it, but actually seeing it on paper is a little comical (read: shitty).
We are rated in different sections on a scale of 1 to 5 with 5 being “Exceptional” and 1 being “Unsatisfactory.” I was told beforehand that “no one will get a 5.” It was explained to me that there is always room for improvement somewhere. (This was delegated by our boss, not by the company).
It didn’t really hit me until now just how absurd that statement is. They’re basically telling us that no matter how hard we try, we’ll never be exceptional here. So what’s the point of trying? Where’s the motivation?
Oh, and here’s the kicker. The final review score determines our annual raise. So, yes, they purposely make sure we don’t get “5s” so that they don’t have to increase our pay dramatically. I was told it would actually reflect poorly on us if we all got such great scores that the team was delegated a large annual raise. We would look like we don’t need to improve.
Hey, here’s a fucking cookie for you: If I know that working my ass off is going to get me nothing but shit for a raise, why don’t I just sit around with my thumb up my ass and create my own raise?
Here’s an example of a category I got a “4″ in:
Do the Right Thing
Description: In any job, but especially in this industry, the bottom line is integrity and trustworthiness. When in doubt, ask.
Not once, in 9 months here, has this been an issue. Way to make someone feel even shittier by refusing to give them a 5 in such an easy category! Holy fuck a monkey could have scored a 5 there.
How about this juicy nugget:
Achievement Motivation
Description: Actively works toward goals, effectively using all available human, material, and financial resources to achieve optimal results.
I only scored a “3” on this. Yet, I scored a “4” on:
Efficiency
Description: Makes an effort to find simpler, faster, and less costly ways to accomplish tasks in a productive manner.
They’re practically the same fucking thing! Surely I am dreaming, yeah?
My entire review score was a 3.50. That puts me somewhere on their “scale” between “Meets Expectations” and “Highly Effective.”
Pretty much I am “highly effective at meeting expectations.”
So, piss on that.
Kwummy August 29th, 2007
Saw this on Deadspin today.
Someone snapped a picture of of what is supposedly Briggs’ Lamborghini about 10:30 in the South Loop. Said the anonymous reader:
…dude kept blowing through stoplights at 100mph, only to have my slow ass pull up behind him at the next light every time, which was funny.
I’m telling you folks, Briggs and the Bears are both hiding the fact he was drunk. He needs to man up to his mistake and take the consequences. Don’t want to hurt yourself or the team? Hey, don’t fucking drink and drive.
To make it better, that jackass Harry Teinowitz from the Mac, Jurko and Harry on ESPN Radio 1000 in Chicago said yesterday that he has no problem with Briggs running from the scene because it benefits the team. Had Briggs been arrested for DUI he would have faced an automatic 4-game suspension.
Are you fucking kidding me?
I fired off an email to ESPN Radio 1000 management telling them I’m boycotting the station until they fire his sorry ass. How can you have this dickwad get on the radio and basically tell people (including kids) that, hey, it’s okay if you run from the scene of an accident as long as you don’t hurt anyone.
He tried to back peddle once the angry calls started coming in but he still held his ground saying that Briggs did the right thing by not jeopardizing his playing time or the mental make-up of the Bears. He actually praised Briggs for thinking of himself and the team.
I was beyond shock when I heard that yesterday. I mean I was pissed. What Briggs did was wrong and what Teinowitz said was wrong. The last thing we need is more drunk drivers on the road knowing that if they get in an accident all they have to do is run and everything will be okay.
If I had any real motivation I’d picket outside ESPN Radio 1000’s offices until Teinowitz came out and then I’d punch his fat ass in the face and stick my sign up his ass.
Instead I’ll just blog about it.
And done.
Kwummy August 29th, 2007
One of the things I hate about where I work is this one employee who is very controlling. She’s very snide and always does her best to belittle you.
We were looking into purchasing a software upgrade that I thought was $135 a year. I simply misread the invoice and it was actually $1350 a year. Honest mistake, but a big one. I know that and I felt foolish for having made the mistake.
First of all, this shouldn’t even be my job. But, I digress.
I knew she’d get all pissy about it, which she did. Granted, instead of replying to all she did only reply to me, which is typically not her style. Which is why in the beginning I was very nice about it.
I owned up to it in an email and put the blame solely on my shoulders [pay attention to the part I bold here]:
Yes, I am sorry. I read the form wrong. It’s actually on the [company] site. You have to log-in to your account to view the screen. You go to manage users and then add more users. Once you get there you have to look at your invoice.
I’ll describe:
There were two columns, one mentioned the licenses were $112 and that tax was $135. I thought the $135 was the cost of the license. I mixed up the columns, even then, it’s a *monthly* charge, so it’s $112 a month plus tax.
It’s my mistake and I apologize.
She replies with her typical BS thanking me for “fessing up” [her words] and admits people make mistakes.
It’s over, right?
Wrong.
I get into work today and I see this email:
P.s. - you might want to re-read this email; here you say the license is $112. Still a far cry from $1350.
Cheers
Normally, I would let this go despite the fact she was dead wrong, but I’ve about had it with her attitude. I no longer give a hoot if she’s the Vice President or the CEO. I’m not going to let her try and make a fool out of me, especially when she’s incorrect.
My reply:
Actually, at the end of the email I said it’s $112 a *month*, which it is. It’s $112 month plus tax.
I understand how some of you wouldn’t really find anything wrong with my email. However, around here, my going back and forth with her is tantamount to slapping her in the face. I don’t care, though. She was wrong and I wasn’t going to put up with her shit.
She replied:
Good job [Kevin]- you’re on top it. Thanks for the clarification!
I don’t know if this will actually be the end of it or not. I’m sure she doesn’t appreciate me correcting her…even though she was wrong.
Anyway, I was sitting in my cubicle today, and I realized, ever since I started working here, every single day of my life has been worse than the day before it. So that means that every single day that you see me, that’s on the worst day of my life.
Kwummy August 24th, 2007
Maybe you’ve seen or read about the killer storms that came through Chicago last night. They hit about 4 p.m. and I really didn’t think much of it. I’m stuck in the Loop between a lot of skyscrapers so I didn’t realize what kind of damage was done.
My wife did say her office was forced to evacuate to the hallways of their building because there was debris pelting the windows. Her windowsw, too, and she’s on the 21st floor!
Other than public transportation being crippled (but what else is new?) my commute home didn’t show a lot of damage. I figured the storm’s bark was worse than its bite. That was until I got home.