Archive for the 'Work' Category

We no longer have access to any outside webmail programs at work

Kwummy December 10th, 2007

Next on their to do list: invade Poland and exterminate the Jews.

So work today was unproductive

Kwummy December 3rd, 2007

Internet was down all day.

So, yeah…it’s been a few days

Kwummy October 11th, 2007

Sorry about the lack of updates. I’ve been busy here, but that takes up very little time. I’ve been mostly busy with work. And not in a good way. Well, it’s good that it’s helping to strengthen my resume, but it just makes me realize how much I really hate my job and that if I would move up in this company the money wouldn’t really be worth the headache. I’m not even in a senior position and it’s already a headache. I’m working 60 hour weeks with very little to show for it.

I’ve become completely frustrated in looking for jobs, too. I’ve found more than enough that I qualify for, but I never hear anything. I’ve sent out, what has to be over 60 resumes, and haven’t so much as received a call-back. Maybe it’s the market or my area, but using Monster, Careerbuilder, etc doesn’t seem to be working for me.

I’ve re-done by resume as well as have had other people look over it so I know that’s up-to-date and looking better. I have a feeling it’s my varied background which is scaring people away.

There are several different directions I wouldn’t mind my career taking either, so it’s not like I haven’t been open-minded.

I would prefer something in brand or consumer marketing. I also refuse to work in an industry I don’t have a personal interest in. That was my first mistake of taking my current job. The financial services industry, especially the division I am in, is extremely nauseating.

Every day I want to go home and apply to jobs on Careerbuilder, but then I remember how I do all this hard work applying for jobs, spending hours at a time tailoring my resume for a specific job and company, only to not have anything come of it.

I’ve tried networking, but people either can’t help or don’t really help. I think they’re just as sick of me asking them for help as I am looking for a job. I don’t blame them. I just know if I could find a position in an industry I like and the hours are a little better I would be a completely different person.

Maybe I’ll go home and look for jobs tonight.

But what’s the point?

I’m pretty sure this is God telling me he’s pissed I don’t believe in him and that I should probably kill myself.

I might have real work to do soon

Kwummy September 18th, 2007

My work load has steadily been increasing as I bitch about doing the boring stuff. But now, it might increase exponentially.

A senior manager within our department just resigned. He handled a lot of the communications we do (both internally and externally). While I’m not poised to take over his position, I can put this to my advantage. With him gone, they need someone to take over a lot of his shit that is pressing (something a new person wouldn’t be able to pick up on right away). That person could be me.

I’ve talked to my boss about it and we both agree it’s a good opportunity for me. We’re poised to go to the V.P. and tell her research just isn’t what I want to be doing anymore and that it would really help further my career if I could take on some of the major projects that need to be done in the absence of a senior manager.

Hell, some of the stuff he’s already passed onto me and I’ve been running with before he even announced his resignation.  

More than likely I’ll be able to manage some of those projects (including a complete overhaul of our company’s website) simply because there is no one else on the team qualified to handle some of it.

There’s a possibility it could lead to a new role for me, like a Generalist role, and I could get out of research. If that’s the case, it could also lead to more money. Which is always good. The only problem is we just hired two Generalists in other cities so we may not need one in Chicago.

The worse thing that could happen is that I take on these projects and have to continue doing the regular research bullshit. If that happens, it will give me some extra bullet points on my resume and might help me land a better job outside of the company. So, it could still prove to be advantageous for me as it will just help bolster my resume. Either way, I don’t want to be doing research in a year from now.

I’ll keep you updated with what happens, but it could be weeks before I learn anything. I just know this is a rare opportunity for me. I have a chance to go into something a little more exciting (advertising/design) and I feel I should jump on it. It may be premature, but I don’t know when another opportunity like this might arise.

It takes hard work to keep from working

Kwummy September 12th, 2007

For all the bitching and moaning I do about my job, they just kind of came through for me a little.

I was just informed I would receive a 5% annual pay increase (the most I’ve ever received, also the highest you can get here) as well as a $2100 bonus (also the most I’ve ever received).

I know that’s not a lot to some of you, and in some cases it really isn’t. But for me it’s a good day, especially because the pay increase puts me over a goal I had set for myself. I had wanted to make a certain amount of money by the end of the year, and now I’m over it.

I think upper management knows I am not happy and they’re trying to keep me from leaving. Because honestly if I was to left it would really hurt the department. I’ve come a long way in a short amount of time. I was also told they want to bring me in on some larger projects they’re working on.

I’m like, eff that, I don’t want to have to do more work. Lawlz.

Anyway, I want to thank Jesus Christ for making all of this possible. I also want to thank beer, because without beer I would have no reason to get up in the morning.

It’s important not to try too hard

Kwummy September 6th, 2007

I just got my annual review at my job today. I knew what to expect going into it, but actually seeing it on paper is a little comical (read: shitty).

We are rated in different sections on a scale of 1 to 5 with 5 being “Exceptional” and 1 being “Unsatisfactory.” I was told beforehand that “no one will get a 5.” It was explained to me that there is always room for improvement somewhere. (This was delegated by our boss, not by the company).

It didn’t really hit me until now just how absurd that statement is. They’re basically telling us that no matter how hard we try, we’ll never be exceptional here. So what’s the point of trying? Where’s the motivation?

Oh, and here’s the kicker. The final review score determines our annual raise. So, yes, they purposely make sure we don’t get “5s” so that they don’t have to increase our pay dramatically. I was told it would actually reflect poorly on us if we all got such great scores that the team was delegated a large annual raise. We would look like we don’t need to improve.

Hey, here’s a fucking cookie for you: If I know that working my ass off is going to get me nothing but shit for a raise, why don’t I just sit around with my thumb up my ass and create my own raise?

Here’s an example of a category I got a “4″ in:

Do the Right Thing 

Description: In any job, but especially in this industry, the bottom line is integrity and trustworthiness. When in doubt, ask.

Not once, in 9 months here, has this been an issue. Way to make someone feel even shittier by refusing to give them a 5 in such an easy category! Holy fuck a monkey could have scored a 5 there.

How about this juicy nugget:

Achievement Motivation 

Description: Actively works toward goals, effectively using all available human, material, and financial resources to achieve optimal results.

I only scored a “3” on this. Yet, I scored a “4” on:

Efficiency

Description: Makes an effort to find simpler, faster, and less costly ways to accomplish tasks in a productive manner.

They’re practically the same fucking thing! Surely I am dreaming, yeah?

My entire review score was a 3.50.  That puts me somewhere on their “scale” between “Meets Expectations” and “Highly Effective.”

Pretty much I am “highly effective at meeting expectations.”

So, piss on that.

Think of how the podiatrist feels

Kwummy September 5th, 2007

Not much to write today. Been swamped at work. And I’m only swamped because other people are lazy and/or also swamped.

 I’m doing shit that I don’t know how to do and that I’m not qualified to do. So, why am I doing it? Because the company is too cheap to hire extra help and those that should be doing it are already too busy.

Seriously, that’s how this company works. Everyone is working 60 hour weeks every week and working outside of their knowledge base.

It isn’t that I don’t want to learn new things, it’s just that I wanted my professional career to head in one direction. Now, thanks to this job, it’s heading in a million different directions. None of which I’m happy about.

Let me put it this way. It’s like a podiatrist being asked to preform a colonoscopy. Sure, he’s a doctor, maybe he could do it. But the podiatrist wanted to work with feet, he didn’t want to spend 12 hours a day digging around in someone’s ass.

Surely you can understand his problem, yeah?

Employee: Owned

Kwummy August 29th, 2007

One of the things I hate about where I work is this one employee who is very controlling. She’s very snide and always does her best to belittle you.

We were looking into purchasing a software upgrade that I thought was $135 a year. I simply misread the invoice and it was actually $1350 a year. Honest mistake, but a big one. I know that and I felt foolish for having made the mistake.

First of all, this shouldn’t even be my job. But, I digress.

I knew she’d get all pissy about it, which she did. Granted, instead of replying to all she did only reply to me, which is typically not her style. Which is why in the beginning I was very nice about it.

I owned up to it in an email and put the blame solely on my shoulders [pay attention to the part I bold here]:

Yes, I am sorry. I read the form wrong. It’s actually on the [company] site. You have to log-in to your account to view the screen. You go to manage users and then add more users. Once you get there you have to look at your invoice.

I’ll describe:

There were two columns, one mentioned the licenses were $112 and that tax was $135. I thought the $135 was the cost of the license. I mixed up the columns, even then, it’s a *monthly* charge, so it’s $112 a month plus tax.

It’s my mistake and I apologize.

She replies with her typical BS thanking me for “fessing up” [her words] and admits people make mistakes.

It’s over, right?

Wrong.

I get into work today and I see this email:

P.s. - you might want to re-read this email; here you say the license is $112. Still a far cry from $1350.

Cheers

Normally, I would let this go despite the fact she was dead wrong, but I’ve about had it with her attitude. I no longer give a hoot if she’s the Vice President or the CEO. I’m not going to let her try and make a fool out of me, especially when she’s incorrect.

My reply:

Actually, at the end of the email I said it’s $112 a *month*, which it is. It’s $112 month plus tax.

I understand how some of you wouldn’t really find anything wrong with my email. However, around here, my going back and forth with her is tantamount to slapping her in the face. I don’t care, though. She was wrong and I wasn’t going to put up with her shit.

She replied:

Good job [Kevin]- you’re on top it. Thanks for the clarification! :-)

I don’t know if this will actually be the end of it or not. I’m sure she doesn’t appreciate me correcting her…even though she was wrong.

Anyway, I was sitting in my cubicle today, and I realized, ever since I started working here, every single day of my life has been worse than the day before it. So that means that every single day that you see me, that’s on the worst day of my life.

GROSS

Kwummy August 23rd, 2007

This note was in the refrigerator at work.0823071249.jpg

Even better, there’s a note on the fridge that says “If you didn’t bring it, don’t eat it.”

I think we now need a new one that says, “If you didn’t bring it, don’t drink it,” you know, just to keep stuff like this from happening again. The culprit obviously was using the original note to his advantage.