Archive for the 'Science' Category

I’m not dead

Kwummy November 29th, 2007

Shocking, I know.

Ten signs that you might be a douchebag

Kwummy October 3rd, 2007

Below are are the ten most common signs and symptoms of douchebagnamonia. It is important to note that the disease is rarely seen in women. However, women have a similar disease but with different signs and symptoms. It is called Trixieoma. We’ll explore the problems of that disease tomorrow. Today we’ll just focus on douchebagnamonia.

Chances are that if you exhibit only one or two signs you are not a douchebag. However, I would print out this checklist and continue to monitor your symptoms. If you do exhibit more than one symptom it is best to try and get the necessary treatment before you spiral out of control.

If you exhibit between 3-5 symptoms I would consult your physician immediately. In the most severe cases both clinical rehabilitation and medicinal treatment is required. The sooner you act the sooner you can get better.

For those that show more than 5 signs it’s probably best that you kill yourself. Oftentimes when a person shows that many symptoms it’s typically not long before someone finally gets so annoyed by your disease that they beat the crap out of you. Therefore it’s recommended that you simply do the world a favor and take care of it yourself.

Unfortunately,  douchebagnamonia is not 100% curable. There is always the chance that the disease could resurface. Most people that are diagnosed a second time show different symptoms.  That is why it is important to always monitor yourself and make changes to your lifestyle the second you start to become a douchebag. Scientists are baffled as to how the disease hides in the system. Current speculation is that it attaches to the bloodstream and renders itself undetectable.

Continue reading to see if you show any signs of this horrible disease.  

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Weekend

Kwummy September 21st, 2007

Got a friend coming into town this weekend. I’m leaving work at noon today so I won’t be around much.

In the meantime, here are some stories you might find interesting for the weekend:

Have a good weekend everyone!

Lunar eclipse Tuesday only friendly to some

Kwummy August 27th, 2007

As many have probably heard, there will be a total lunar eclipse in the early morning hours of Tuesday. Unfortunately for Americans, if you want to see it you’re going to have to stay up very late (or get up very early).

I’m not going to bore you with the details of a lunar eclipse. If you want to read more about it check out this or this (both via Bad Astronomy).

After the jump check out a table I re-created to show which event you can see in your time zone.

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6 billion trillion miles of nothing

Kwummy August 24th, 2007

We’ve all made road trips where we’ve had to drive through long stretches of land that look as if it has never been settled.

Well, how would you feel if you had to pass a stretch of highway that went on for 6 billion trillion miles?

Astronomers at the University of Minnesota have found a hole in the universethat is far bigger than anything they’ve ever seen before. Within this void there is nothing. No stars, galaxies or anything from the periodic table of elements.

Scientists have found voids before, that’s nothing new.  It’s how big this one is that have scientists so baffled.

And before you ask about the matter in the universe that you cannot see, dark matter, no, this void doesn’t have that either.

Said astronomy professor Lawrence Rudnick:

This is 1,000 times the volume of what we sort of expected to see in terms of a typical void. It’s not clear that we have the right word yet … This is too much of a surprise.

I guess I will no longer be so impressed with the emptiness I experience every time I drive down I-65 in Indiana to visit my folks.