Archive for the 'Chicago' Category
New logo for administering the heimlich maneuver
Kwummy October 17th, 2007
Got this in an email today…
Stay classy, Cubs fans
Kwummy October 9th, 2007
So, it’s Saturday afternoon. The Cubs are about to face the Diamondbacks in an elimination game. You throw on your Ronnie Woo Woo jersey, grab your Starbucks triple soy milk cafe latte and bust out your Blackberry to email your friends to decide where you want to go for the game.
Attn: Cubs fans
Kwummy September 28th, 2007
Shut. Up. You still think that if the Cubs make it to the post season they actually have a chance of winning? They can’t even win a single game in Miami and you think they could win a 5 game series against the best teams in the N.L.?
Here’s the Cubs record this year against possible teams they’d face in the divisional series:
- Philadelphia: 3-4 (1-2 on the road)
- Arizona: 2-4 (1-2 on the road)
- New York: 2-5 (1-3 on the road)
- San Diego: 3-5 (1-2 on the road)
- Colorado: 5- 2 (2-2 on the road)
Yeah, that’s right folks: the Cubs have a losing record against every single team except the Rockies. Combined, the Cubs are 15-20 against N.L. playoff contenders.
Oh, and your best pitcher? The one you’re paying more than $90 million for? Yeah, he’s 3-6 in the last 10 games with a 5.64 ERA. That includes a streak of six straight outings in which he failed to get a win.
The Cubs can barely win one of the shittiest divisions in baseball and you think they’re going to win a series in the post season?
Good luck with that. I laugh at you.
The Rex Grossman conspiracy
Kwummy September 26th, 2007
By now, anyone interested in the NFL has heard that the Chicago Bears will reportedly start Brian Griese at quarterback on Sunday against the Detroit Lions. What many are asking at this point is, “why?” Why did it take so long to do something that some people thought should have happened over a year ago.
Because the Bears front office is full of monkeys. And not even the cute monkeys. I’m talking about the ugly monkeys that through poop at each other.
Last year an easy schedule, better offensive play calling and a practically injury-free defense allowed the Grossman PR train to keep chugging along. Brainwashed fans kept buying tickets and they would hop aboard a train that made all of the stops except the last one: a Super Bowl victory. Continue Reading »
- Morans , Chicago , Pictures , Sports
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Some Chicago sports tidbits
Kwummy September 19th, 2007
Saw two interesting sports stories today:
- One blogpointed out that Rex Grossman’s stats (56.1% completion rating, 1 TD, 3 INTs and 6 sacks) have led him to a passer rating of 55.1 which is dead last in the league. If you don’t think Brian Griese could at least do better than that you’re as stubborn and stupid as Lovie Smith and the rest of the front office.
- I noticed an article in today’s RedEye that Mark Cuban was in the right-field bleachers last night to watch the Reds beat the Cubs. However, according to the article, “Cubs told [Comcast SportsNet] not to show Cuban or even talk about his presence at the park during the telecast. Awww, did poor Marky Mark not wanna deal with the spotlight? What a douche.
Grossman and Cuban in the same city? Get me the fuck out, please.
Don’t piss off the disabled
Kwummy September 12th, 2007
As a follow-up to the pictures I posted about what I thought was a protest against the CTA; it appears that the protest aimed to get federal legislation to provide more access to community based services. From what I understand, currently those that are disabled, regardless of their overall health, are required to live in a nursing home.
On Monday, the day I took the pictures, the protest blocked four entrances and a lower-level parking garage at the AMA building.
From the story:
About 1:30 p.m., police issued 42 tickets and removed protesters from the building’s north entrance to allow for office employees to leave. About 2 p.m., the group ended its blockade of the other three entrances and the garage entrance.
The protesters held signs that read (among others), “Now you know what it’s like to be stuck in a nursing home.”
They didn’t stop there. On Tuesday they focused their efforts on the State of Illinois (emphasis mine):
About 3 p.m., approximately 200 protesters from the advocacy group ADAPT blocked the three main entrances and exits at the Thompson Center, wedging their wheelchairs into revolving doors. Earlier, they blocked escalators in the building and turnstiles and vending machines at the Clark/Lake Chicago Transit Authority station in the center.
Several state employees trapped inside the center looked over balconies to watch the protest. Meanwhile, people outside couldn’t get in to shop, eat at the food court in the basement or visit any of the state agencies in the 16-story structure.
These people don’t mess around.
The CTA makes people push babies
Kwummy September 11th, 2007
I was “Googling” around for some awesome CTA rants and found this gem on Craigslist. The bus this dude is ranting about is the same bus I take. It was posted two years ago. Seems the CTA hasn’t fixed jack shit in those two years.
Maybe I should just make this blog a Public Transporation Rant blog. That would sell, yeah? Have people post their horror stories and we can all have a giggle?
The full post after the jump.
- Rants , Chicago , Life , Funnies
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If the city of Chicago was a person…
Kwummy September 11th, 2007
… I’d kick it in the nuts. Read why after the jump.
- Morans , Chicago , Life
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Protester pictures
Kwummy September 10th, 2007
I don’t know if this is an actual “protest” but I looked out the window at work (I’m on the third floor) and I see hundreds of people, mostly in wheelchairs, coming from the corner of Washington and LaSalle, moving North on LaSalle and then turning east on Randolph. There was also a mixture of those on canes or walkers and those being led by dogs.
They blocked traffic for almost 45 minutes and at one point, even with traffic directed, it was backed up over 6 blocks. It appears to be very organized, but I looked on Tribune’s website and didn’t see anything.
If I had to guess, they’re going to Chicago City Hall (that big slanted building in the picture with all the glass) to protest the upcoming CTA tragedy in which over 20 bus routes will be eliminated, fares will increase and almost 1,000 people will lost their jobs.
It never occurred to me that such a cut in service would affect those who are disabled. While their fares won’t increase, cutting bus routes, which leads to the overloading of other buses and trains, will deeply affect those that don’t have the luxury of simply walking a little farther or taking other modes of transportation.
The CTA is just as guilty though as the state. Every year the CTA threatens layoffs, increased fairs and service cuts unless the state gives them money. Every year, at the last minute, the state comes through. Yet, the CTA has nothing to show for this. Service still sucks, it’s still slow and over-crowded and fares are among the nation’s highest. Seems like this time the CTA has finally pissed off the state to the point the government is telling the CTA to go eff themselves.
Awesome.
Oh, and yes: I fought with the notion of making some very bad jokes about how they’re not really “marching” in a protest they’re “scooting,” but I figured I’d save the jokes for those of you who have no soul.
Pictures after the jump.
What’s with the Rex apologists?
Kwummy September 10th, 2007
I was actually just going to throw this into a random thoughts post but I got on such a roll it turned into a full blown post.
The Bears were down right abysmal on offense Sunday. I don’t want to say “I told you so,” but, well, I told you so. I said from the beginning that without Jones the Bears have nothing consistent on offense. You can argue that Mushin Muhammed is consistent, and he would be, if he had someone other than Rex Grossman throwing him the ball.
And before the Rex apologists show up and bitch that they’re sick of people hating on him let me tell you that it’s just as old hearing everyone make excuses for Rex. Even Troy Aikman (and, of course, the local media) were claiming that the interception he threw wasn’t his fault. I respect Troy Aikman as an announcer, but why he’s trying to kiss Grossman’s ass is beyond me. Watch the replay, even if Berrian would have ran the correct route (which appeared to be slant or an out) the ball still would have been under thrown and most likely still intercepted. The Chargers defender simply slipped under the pass.
But, okay, let’s say it wasn’t his fault. Let’s review the rest of his performance. He again had butterfingers that almost let to a turnover. The ball, literally, bounced the Bears way. He tried to tuck the ball and simply lost the handle while scrambling. Completely inexcusable in a game where conditions were perfect. He blamed that shit on the rain in Miami during the Super Bowl. What’s the excuse now? Counting the last two preseason games that’s now three games in a row he’s mishandled the ball at some point.
He was also sacked three times. Two of those he should have at least seen coming. On the first sack where he was absolutely destroyed, he completely kept his focus on the left side of the field and never saw the blitz. Sorry, but that’s Rex’s fault. Staring in the direction you want to throw the ball is either going to result in an interception or a sack. Another sack that came off a blitz from the same side had the same results. He continued to keep his focus on one side of the field. You can argue missed blocks all you want, but Rex still should have seen or felt the blitz coming. Good quarterbacks would, at least.
The only bright spot was the fact he completed almost 50% of his passes. Unfortunately, 145 yards passing isn’t going to get the job done when your running game is absent.
Look, I’m not saying Brian Griese is the answer, but Rex is obviously not. At least give Griese a shot. He could do just as bad and then everyone can realize Rex is the only option for now. But continuing to coddle Rex and make excuses for him is simply being stubborn.
This isn’t a marriage, you didn’t make any vows to stand beside each other through thick and thin, till death do you part. Hell, even if it was a marriage and my quaterback was Katie who played just as shitty I’d tell her, “Sorry babe, but I have to bench your ass. Go grab me a Gatorade.”
At this point I’m going to start thinking this is some conspiracy and the Bears are worried Griese will play better. Then the questions of “Could Griese have won the Super Bowl?” will start to emerge and that will be another train wreck.
I hope the Bengals can play a little better tonight and give me something to look forward to this season. Because right now, while the Bears still might make the playoffs given they’re in a shitty league, they’ll more than likely be one and done come January.
I actually miss Cincinnati. At least the fans there would refuse to put up with this type of bullshit. They might deal with it, but you wouldn’t hear them making excuses.
My letter to the CTA; Tribune
Kwummy August 30th, 2007
The Tribune has a publication they distribute during the week called RedEye. It’s free and generally found outside train stations and bus depots. It’s actually a good publication, geared toward those in the 18-34 demo.
They have a weekly column in which people complain about the different problems with the CTA. Below is mine, sent today. I wanted to be more vulgar, but I knew if I did that it wouldn’t get printed. I want to see if this gets printed.
The letter after the jump.
Briggs story gets weirder; ESPN Radio host condones actions
Kwummy August 29th, 2007
Saw this on Deadspin today.
Someone snapped a picture of of what is supposedly Briggs’ Lamborghini about 10:30 in the South Loop. Said the anonymous reader:
…dude kept blowing through stoplights at 100mph, only to have my slow ass pull up behind him at the next light every time, which was funny.
I’m telling you folks, Briggs and the Bears are both hiding the fact he was drunk. He needs to man up to his mistake and take the consequences. Don’t want to hurt yourself or the team? Hey, don’t fucking drink and drive.
To make it better, that jackass Harry Teinowitz from the Mac, Jurko and Harry on ESPN Radio 1000 in Chicago said yesterday that he has no problem with Briggs running from the scene because it benefits the team. Had Briggs been arrested for DUI he would have faced an automatic 4-game suspension.
Are you fucking kidding me?
I fired off an email to ESPN Radio 1000 management telling them I’m boycotting the station until they fire his sorry ass. How can you have this dickwad get on the radio and basically tell people (including kids) that, hey, it’s okay if you run from the scene of an accident as long as you don’t hurt anyone.
He tried to back peddle once the angry calls started coming in but he still held his ground saying that Briggs did the right thing by not jeopardizing his playing time or the mental make-up of the Bears. He actually praised Briggs for thinking of himself and the team.
I was beyond shock when I heard that yesterday. I mean I was pissed. What Briggs did was wrong and what Teinowitz said was wrong. The last thing we need is more drunk drivers on the road knowing that if they get in an accident all they have to do is run and everything will be okay.
If I had any real motivation I’d picket outside ESPN Radio 1000’s offices until Teinowitz came out and then I’d punch his fat ass in the face and stick my sign up his ass.
Instead I’ll just blog about it.
And done.
- Morans , Chicago , WTF , Sports
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KSK post on Lance Briggs and his wrecked Lamborghini
Kwummy August 28th, 2007
The Monday Morning Punter over at KSK has another Brian Urlacher “I’m Sorry” post up. This time the target is none other than Mr. Franchise, Lance Briggs.
This comment to the post is one of my favorites:
Actually, the guy kinda seems like a genius. He left the scene of the accident and by the time the cops figured out it was his car, it was too late (supposedly) to check his BAC. So he gets off with a measly $1000 fine. I wonder who he called first after stumbling out of his wrecked car, his lawyer or his manager?
According to the story: Bears coach Lovie Smith indicated the team will not discipline Briggs, whose “spirits were good for being in a one-car accident.”
I like how he lets us all know that they’re not disciplining Briggs, in case anyone was worried about that. Why would they? Do they have a strict no-trashing-your-Lamborghini policy up there?
I’m sure the unobjective Bears fan sees this as a “no harm, no foul” situation, but you’re delusional if you don’t think this story smells something fierce.
[Update - Sports Frog also has a post up about a David Haugh article.
I have to agree: this is denial at its finest. Refusing to talk about the situation just proves Lance was doing something he wasn’t supposed to be doing. If he simply lost control of his car because he was stuffing a Big Mac in his face or texting one of his girlfriends then he would have said it. Instead, they’re trying to sweep it under the rug.
Stay classy, Chicago.]
I’ll copy and paste the actual KSK post for the lazy after the jump.
Top 10 reasons Rex Grossman sucks at football
Kwummy August 27th, 2007
10. He went to college in Florida. I kid; Florida is an awesome state. For example, 1 in 2 men in Downtown Orlando carry guns
9. His hands are better suited to wrap around a girls waist than a football
8. His career QB rating in the NFL is 72%. Last year, his 73.9% rating was good enough for 51st among all QBs
7. 4% of his passes result in touchdowns while 4% of his throws also result in interceptions. No one quite knows where the other 92% land
6. He was third in number of interceptions thrown in 2006. Had he thrown two more he would have been tied with the great John Kitna for second. You’ll get ‘em this year, Rex
5. One word: Rexettes
4. When it counts, Rex is no where to be found. In 2006 regular season games where the Bears either lost or won by no more than 10 points (8 games), Rex had a rating of 50.6, threw 16 interceptions and only 5 touchdowns. He also lost 5 fumbles
3. He’d rather party than study game tape
2. He has more nicknames than Michael Vick (Sex Cannon, The Cumslinger, Sexy Rexy, Rex Glassman, Wrecks Grossman, et.al)
And the #1 reason Rex Grossman sucks at football is…after the jump!