October 12th, 2007 9:19 am

I browse Fark.com on a regular basis because it’s my idea of the perfect news site. I hate reading or watching the news because it’s always the same bullshit. With Fark, they only report the most ridiculous news.

Take for instance these news stories about Florida all from today’s news.

• City of Orlando recommends that homeowners walk around their houses much more carefully after discovering that there may be World War II era rockets and grenades under their houses
• Man attempts to snatch boy from school. Boy reports incident to school officials. Officials don’t bother to inform parents or cops. Boy informs parents after school. NOW it’s serious (with creepy sketch of man)
• Mother arrested for holding 5-year-old son outside moving SUV window to pee (With me-happy mugshot goodness)
• If your neighbor proudly displays hangman’s noose from his Confederate battle flag out on his front yard, he might be a Floridian. (With video goodness)

And that’s just from this morning. Imagine what goodness we will grace us with by the afternoon.  

Oh Florida, I wish I could quit you.

• Real Journalism , Morans